Living with general anxiety has been a constant companion throughout my life, tracing back to my earliest memories. As a writer and stand-up comedian, the challenges I face are most pronounced when contending with social and performance anxiety. Balancing interviews and interactions with editors during the day, followed by taking the stage at night, puts me in the midst of my anxiety battleground.
The manifestations of my anxiety often result in what I term “anxiety hangovers.” These mornings-after are marked by a sense of self-doubt and unease, regardless of how enjoyable or successful the previous night’s social event or comedy performance seemed.
Upon waking, my inner voice relentlessly berates me:
“You come across as egotistical and obnoxious,” it jeers.
“Your inability to filter your words is painfully evident in your interactions,” it scolds.
“You monopolized the conversation at dinner, alienating everyone,” it accuses.
“The humiliation you brought upon yourself on stage proves you’re far from a success,” it taunts.
This unkind narrative drones on without respite.
Following significant events such as a friend’s wedding or a crucial comedy show, the intensity of my anxiety sometimes escalates to panic attacks the following morning — racing heart, trembling hands, and breathlessness. On less tumultuous days, my concentration wanes under the weight of persistent worry, rendering me mentally incapacitated. The very confidence essential for my creative work dwindles in the face of these challenges.
The Role of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) hinges on a simple yet profound concept: By altering your thought patterns, you can transform your emotional state.
However, if alleviating depression and anxiety were a straightforward task, we wouldn’t be confronted with the escalating levels of psychological distress that are prevalent today.
While I’ve come to realize that I can’t entirely eliminate or “cure” my anxiety — and it’s unlikely I ever will — I have uncovered a brief five-minute CBT exercise that has the remarkable ability to quell it each day. During these moments, my racing thoughts subside, the fog in my mind begins to lift, and my weariness dissipates.
Suddenly, I regain a sense of readiness to embark on my day.
This exercise, known as the triple column technique, conceived and coined by clinical psychiatrist Dr. David D. Burns, merely orchestrates a shift in my perspective. However, on certain occasions, this transformation is adequate to silence my anxiety for the entire day. Sometimes, a shift in our self-perception is all that’s necessary to discover a more tranquil and joyful state of being.
Identifying Cognitive Distortions
In 2014, at the recommendation of a friend, I delved into Burns’ classic work “Feeling Good,” a cornerstone of CBT methodology that systematically guides readers in recognizing negative self-dialogue, rationally evaluating it, and substituting it with more constructive and accurate cognitions.
Burns also underscores that, for numerous individuals grappling with anxiety and depression, consulting a medical professional and potentially combining therapy with suitable medication is a prudent course of action.
The book unequivocally illuminated the fact that I wasn’t harboring a concealed malevolence or existing as an unmitigated failure incapable of getting things right. In essence, I’m an ordinary individual whose mind possesses the capacity to distort reality, inducing excessive anxiety, stress, and despondency.
The initial and pivotal lesson involved acquainting myself with the specific cognitive distortions—those declarations that the inner voice formulates regarding my identity and life circumstances. Ten prominent distortions tend to manifest:
- Polarized Thinking: Perceiving situations in stark black and white terms, disregarding nuances. Example: Characterizing oneself as wholly bad.
- Overgeneralization: Extending a negative notion far beyond its scope. Example: Concluding that one never accomplishes anything correctly.
- Mental Filtering: Focusing solely on unfavorable aspects while filtering out positive elements. Example: Ignoring achievements and emphasizing failures.
- Disqualifying the Positive: Belittling positive occurrences as irrelevant amidst an overall pattern of negativity. Example: Dismissing a successful interaction as mere luck.
- Jumping to Conclusions: Extrapolating broad negative conclusions from limited negative experiences. Example: Interpreting rejection as a testament to unlikability.
- Magnification or Minimization: Exaggerating personal errors while downplaying one’s achievements or others’ shortcomings. Example: Amplifying personal mistakes while downplaying the achievements of others.
- Emotional Reasoning: Assuming negative emotions directly mirror reality. Example: Believing embarrassment signifies behaving embarrassingly.
- Should Statements: Criticizing oneself for not behaving differently. Example: Chastising oneself for not maintaining silence.
- Labeling and Mislabeling: Branding oneself with an overarching negative label based on a small event. Example: Designating oneself as foolish due to a minor omission.
- Personalization: Mistakenly assuming responsibility for external occurrences. Example: Believing a social event’s failure was solely due to one’s presence.
Recognizing these distortions equipped me with a potent tool for evaluating and altering my thought processes, aiding in diffusing their negative impact on my emotions and mental well-being.
Implementing the 5-Minute Triple Column Technique
Once you have a grasp of the ten prevalent cognitive distortions, you can dedicate a few minutes daily to practicing the triple column exercise.
While internalizing it is an option, the technique notably thrives when you externalize your thoughts by putting pen to paper or typing it out—believe me, the impact is profound.
Here’s how to proceed:
- Create Columns: Form three columns on a physical sheet of paper, an Excel document, or a Google Spreadsheet. Feel free to engage in the exercise whenever suits you best or when you sense that your self-criticism is gaining momentum. Some prefer mornings to counter initial anxiety, while others opt for bedtime to clear their minds.
- Column One – Automatic Thought: In the first column, jot down what Dr. Burns refers to as your “automatic thought.” This refers to your negative self-dialogue, that unkind, critical inner voice. Your entry can be succinct or detailed based on your preference. For instance, it could read: “My day at work was a disaster. My presentation failed miserably, my boss despises me, and I’m likely to lose my job.”
- Column Two – Cognitive Distortions: Read your recorded statement (seeing it written down can be quite revealing) and identify the cognitive distortions to list in the second column. There could be one or several distortions at play. In the example above, you can spot at least four distortions: overgeneralization, all-or-nothing thinking, mental filtering, and jumping to conclusions.
- Column Three – Rational Response: The third column is dedicated to your “rational response.” This involves thinking logically about your emotional state and then rewriting your automatic thought in a more balanced manner. Using the example provided, you might pen: “While my presentation could have been better, I’ve successfully executed numerous presentations in the past, and this experience is a valuable learning opportunity. My boss entrusted me with leading the presentation, and I intend to discuss potential improvements with her tomorrow. There’s no basis to believe that a single challenging day at work would jeopardize my job.”
You have the flexibility to record as many or as few automatic thoughts as you wish. On a positive day, you might have none, while after significant events or conflicts, you might need to navigate through several.
After years of practicing this technique, I’ve honed my ability to intercept my thought patterns mid-distortion and feel increasingly adept at acknowledging that, at best, my negative self-talk lacks rationality. At its worst, it’s an exaggeration or an undue dramatization.
